Great news came from the pharmaceutical industry recently with the release of new, money saving generic placebos.
For years, modern medicine has used placebos to help discover if a certain drug actually made a difference as they tested two groups of patients. One group was given pills that had the new drug, and the other group was given a placebo pill that had no medical benefit except in the patient’s mind.
These placebos had no real, known benefit, yet they were expensive and not covered by insurance.
I was fortunate to be in the study group for the latest generic placebo. Of course, the scientists administering these tests would not tell either group if we were getting the expensive actual placebo or the new generic placebo. And after three weeks of taking two a day, I can honestly attest that I could not tell if the generic was better or worse. But that is why they pay the researchers the big bucks.
These latest results gave the scientists much delight as they went on to get FDA approval for the new generic placebos. These amazing pills will offer all the actual benefits of a name brand placebo - at generic pricing! This could save millions.
This positive result had the researchers overjoyed. Many of them had worked on the embarrassing and failed 1997 Placebo Study that resulted in a discrediting of certain placebos and greatly hurt sales, and many believe it caused a slump in pharmaceutical stocks. Sadly, many of the brave volunteers in that 1997 study underwent an odd variety of symptoms of illness that could not be explained.
Research on better placebos continues. I understand I am still on their list for volunteers and might be called for the crucial role of testing next year’s new and improved “mega placebos.” These promise to offer up to a 47.5% increase of the placebo effect. I can hardly wait.
I really anticipate this next study - I find that am feeling much better already.
Norm is a comic entertainer and believes that laughter is one of the best medicines. Learn more at magicnorm.com.