4/26/05
Young woman overcomes traditional expectations
by Joe Nathan
Itís an old but very encouraging story ñ the tale of a young woman overcoming traditional expectations. In this case, itís a first generation American high school senior, an honor student, who will attend the University of Minnesota next fall, despite concerns from immediate and extended family members.
ìI am the eldest daughterÖin my culture girls are to be trained to be housewives. This tradition has taken place since before anyone could remember. When I decided to go against something that had been there for centuries, I was looked down upon and degraded.î
Thatís part of the opening for the essay that this young woman hopes will help her win scholarship support. She is not opposed to the role of housewife. Itís just that at 18 years old, like many young women, she wants something different.
But this attitude does not get much support in her family. (Criticism comes) ìNot only from the men, but the women also. I was surprised to find that the women did not agree to what I am doingÖthey would laugh at me for doing strange things they had never seen before or did not understand.î
Although she has done well in high school, her family has, in general, not supported her desire to attend college. ìMy younger sister was one of the first few who did not scorn me, my mother is coping with it, and my dad wishes that I had been born a boy.î
Many years ago, my grandmother told me a very similar story. When she wanted to attend college, there was intense opposition within her family. And some of the strongest opposition came from women. Ultimately my grandmother DID attend college, but found that the world of business and economics, her particular passions, had little interest in her, other than in the role of secretary.
I do not remember what my great grandmother said to her. But someone DID encourage her, and it made a huge difference.
Thatís true also for the young woman I met recently. Her mother has suggested that she ìtake their judgments and criticism as something to look atÖ. Everyone is not always right, so stay open minded and you (will) learn something.î
She thinks about this advice all the time: ìto this day I have never gone through one day of not repeating those words in my head.î After college, she hopes to open her own business.
This young woman is determined to succeed. Like others before her, she is learning to accept criticism and move on. Perhaps most important, she has retained a positive, open attitude: ìLife is full of interesting things, if only people would spend the time to actually learn. Therefore, I dedicate my life to learning.î
-- Joe Nathan directs the Center for School Change at the University of Minnesota's Humphrey Institute of Public Affairs. He can be reached at jnathan@hhh.umn.edu.
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